therapy.

I've become addicted to coffee.

paddle

Day two of exam is down.
And so is my mood.

I've been away from the internet for awhile, so things haven't been see.

But, today.. i felt the worst.

I saw what i never wanted to see.

I told myself that it was going to happen, but when it did.. i still broke down.

Don't know what hurts more, the accusations, or the plain

pain that each memory never meant something.

I don't care if you read this.

I AM HURT.

to the core.

And, you never realized. You never see it. Why? When i see you, i pretend that things are okay, but they aren't.

I tell myself i don't care, but i do.

Because for nearly 5 years, i was at your door. At your support.. and where were you?

All i got was hits about how my efforts were not needed. How i expected too much?

But not once, did i ask for anything back.

So fine.

I stayed silent.

I am still saying silent.

At least you found good company. And i'm happy for you. Everyone needs good company.

I'm blowing out these candles, these memories, these efforts.

Hey eh, oohohhh!

"I just wanna let it go for tonight, that'll be the best therapy for meeee!"

• clear room (seriously)
• hire a mosquito bounty hunter.
• run... gym... run.
• STUDY (first an foremost)
• dance my sorrow away (in my room if i have to)
• dye hair red... well, brighter red.
• get my tattoo done.
• pierce my ear. (i think i'll do that tomorrow, if i find the time)
• watch old films for a whole day. Audrey ofcourse.
• delete junk on batmac.
• tell people i love them, daily.
• go to the beach, for a tan.
• read my books...yes, all of them.
• spend alone time.
• prepare the surprise for Bill.
• download more great tunes.
• go swimming.
• plan my holiday for next year.
• eat a bucket of cheese.
• drink milo at ABU! (and eat nasi lemak goreeeeng!)

Yes, thats all for now.

In time, i lost friends.

Best friends... over stupid things.

These three girls, have stuck with me through my bad, my good, my everything. We fight. We get annoyed. Yet, when in need, we'll go to each other. What i love more, they never judged me ONE bit.

Friends are hard to find. And painful to loose.

I'm tired.

I think all i ever complain about is being exhausted.

Well, once again, I"M EXHAUSTED... then again, i have energy.

I just need the drive.

(and my drive is in KL... teehee)

Well, radio was fun today for once.

Though, i am against my lecturer in all ways, i gotta look past his annoying self.

I keep getting hungry and wanting to snack, i'm going to gain weight soon.

Exam times are always like this. Geeee.

I want a nice break again.

Today, people made my day. I feel appreciated. (and it's been awhile since i felt that way)

Strangers even made my day.

Ohkay, i'm lazy to type.

Just felt like... blogging. Merry Christmas!

Leap here!

Here comes a good one.

Yes, today... I will be talking about LOVE.

I've watched people at the high and the low... and i've experienced the high and low of love.

Being in the low, i think is the worst part ever. I think we'd all agree.

Then why do we keep falling over and over?

Why does our heart desire someone so much?

It's as simple as LOVE.

You can't fight it.

Yes, it's bring you pain... tears... loneliness.

But do you ever stop to think about the GOOD moments in love?

Love in FAMILY... FRIENDS.

Love is everywhere.

Not just in SOMONE.

But yes, love is a bigger factor when it comes to SOMEONE.

We all have a special someone.

But, i believe we are all have a 'few' someones.. it's just a matter of WHO we choose.

No matter what... we will be happy.

But, finding someone is difficult. PERFECTION is what we seek, but is it what we need?

Imperfection comes in a better package, because if you can love someone for that.. then, there's where you can find LOVE.

Why be in a relationship if your in doubt? GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT.

If you want to be with someone.. GO FOR IT.

Don't WAIT.

Don't PONDER..

Because the chance only comes ONCE. (maybe twice)

You'll never know if you don't try.

But, don't get in a relationship only to have your eye out on others. Because, that's just going to bite you in ass.

CHEATERS, you need to vanish.

It takes ALOT for a girl to give up everything for one guy... OPEN YOUR EYES!

Yesterday, we fell...

Today, we realize..

Now.. we do something about it.

Fear is a big part of love.. but, life is SHORT... so take the leap.

Whether it's mending the love in a friendship, starting a new relationship... it's time to step up.

*breathes*

okay, done releasing. K, thanksbye.

Only Exception.

BACK... from a well needed holiday.

Put so much perspective.

And to be honest, there's no perspective. Life is simple. Just LIVE it, and you'll know.

Every moment counts.

I took that for granted.

If only i knew early.

Life is a learning process, we just gotta wait.

I let go of those friendships i once held on so tight on, as i realized i was just an object rather than... well, a friend.

There's no point fighting for something, if it's going to swirl in the same circles.

I just can't take it anymore.

I stood still as fire blew in my face, because i feared dealing my hand.

Now, i deal... and walking away is how i deal with it.

...

Hitting KAY-ELLE tomorrow morning.

And i am HAPPPPPY to get out of here. Gosh, has everything been piling or what!

Work, people... life.

I need this holiday so bad, and to think about anything..

Kyra put everyting in proportion in my head today, and i have come to terms with many things.

I no longer want to live for others, but instead live for myself.

I think too much and care too much about the people surrounding me but bringing me down.

I never stopped to notice the real people who were there for me.

I lost track of myself, and i took advantage of these friends, but up until now, they stuck to me. And that means more to me than anything.

They give the best advice, they let me vent out, they even stay up til the wheeee hours just to cheer me up over a cup of teh-tarik at Alis.

Those are KICKASS friends.

And, i am lucky.

Sure, we have our misfits, but at the end of the day... we're still good. we're still happy.

So don't try pulling me down, cause it's not going to work anymore.

You're foolish attempts are nothing but lies... and it will come back to you.

Living fulling, and whole heartedly.

Cause, it's about time.

Freeee

Yes, it's the weekend and i have a WHOLE lot of free time.

Love it.

Todays Agenda!

• Tan! Tan! Tan! and SWIM!
• Read- Eat Pray Love.
• Finish my script
• Tell people i love them.
• Ponder
• Text my boyfriend... and tell him that i miss him. (4 more days!)
• Get started with Film assignment!
• Play dress up with Lin, and catch a movie!

Have a gooooooood day people. :)

Ah-ma-zeng!

Amazing things are in line. And it's all slightly clearer now.

Certain circumstances have stopped me from looking forward.

But, after some thought, and a whooooole lot of cleaning of my room. (more to continue)

I have decided to let go of the past, and let it not affect me.

I realize how short life is, and i realize all the stupid things that have wasted time.

I complain constantly about things that shouldn't affect me, and i forget about the people around me. The love that everyone else brings me. Despite of anything. They are there.

Family, Friends.... randoms. Doesn't matter who. People are smiling around me, so it's my turn!

I took a trip, and now.. i'm up. I am lucky. And NOTHING should stop me.

Caaaaaan't wait to go to KL next week. First time travelling on my own! (well, sorta)

I'm happy my parents allowed it, and i appriciate that they do.

I have new hair... well, not NEW... but i did something new. YES, i did. Something that isn't very me. But it was worth the shot from the usual!

Thank you for tuning to one of my useless rambles!

John Mayer cheers me. Haiyaaaah!