paddle

Day two of exam is down.
And so is my mood.

I've been away from the internet for awhile, so things haven't been see.

But, today.. i felt the worst.

I saw what i never wanted to see.

I told myself that it was going to happen, but when it did.. i still broke down.

Don't know what hurts more, the accusations, or the plain

pain that each memory never meant something.

I don't care if you read this.

I AM HURT.

to the core.

And, you never realized. You never see it. Why? When i see you, i pretend that things are okay, but they aren't.

I tell myself i don't care, but i do.

Because for nearly 5 years, i was at your door. At your support.. and where were you?

All i got was hits about how my efforts were not needed. How i expected too much?

But not once, did i ask for anything back.

So fine.

I stayed silent.

I am still saying silent.

At least you found good company. And i'm happy for you. Everyone needs good company.

I'm blowing out these candles, these memories, these efforts.