Hiding.

It's 3.52... and i'm awake.

Crashed at 11, but then woke and now i can't sleep.

My throat is closing up and right now.. i can't taste the nutella i am eating with a spoon.

I should probably study.

But, now i'm tired.

I am physically and mentally tired.

Wish i had the weekend to study. But, work is work. Gotta do what i got to do.

All i need right now, is that somebody to tell me everything is going to be okay.

Craig, i miss you.

I miss the positivity you brought. I can't stop thinking about you. And the simple things you did to make me smile. Everything reminds me of you.

come together.

Okay.

So here i am again... PROCRASTINATING.

Yes.. I do that best.

I have a fuck load of assignments that i keep pushing off.

I need NEED to get it doooone.

Slowly, but surely i guess.

FUCK.

Okay.. yes.. I will get them done.

I just feel like complaining.

And this is a de-stress place.

Okay, i'm hungry.

twistie.

Don't you just hate having unsettled feelings?

Like... this odd feeling just lingering inside as if something is wrong, but you avoid it... til it hits.

And sometimes, it hits at the oddest times.

You try to be happy, but then.... it becomes impossible.

I hate having to deal with problems, i shoo them off.. just like everyone else.

But, i also hate avoiding and pretending like everything is okay when it's not.

I hate sleeping knowing that there is a problem going.

If your reading this... listen to heartbreak warfare by john mayer from 3.05 onwards.

I think Battle Studies does all the talking for me.

When i'm in this mood, it fills the gaps.

Now, another sleepless night ahead of me.

Get off my chest.

Yes, maybe i do say sorry a lot. Whether it's because i accidently walked into you, or did some clumsy move. Ha.

But, i am just thinking of someone right now.

And how sorry i am that i lost that person. Yes, i put myself first, and lost this person.

I probably hurt you.

And we'll probably never be the same kinda friends again, but i knew that before i did what i did.

In fact, before that... i already felt the drift.

Maybe i should stop denying and be straight up.

But then... where were you when i needed you the most?

You vanished.

You judged me... you turned your back on me.. yet i'm still sorry for what i did.

Truth be told, we're nobody to each other.. pretending that we're somebody.

Okay, procrastination.

FUCK THIS PROCRASTINATION!

i hate that i can't seem to focus on doing my work. I am sleepy all the time, and i feel so restless sometimes. I miss being energy-techtiful.

i'm trying to get balanced.

so far, it's working.

juggling school, work and the boyfriend... so far, it's balanced. (way more than before atleast)

but, college assignments this semester seem more like a burden.

in fact... this whole semester feels like a burden.

time to excite things people!

So, i was going to go for a jog. (FINALLY, i have done SOME exercise lately)

But, for the past two days, i kinda skipped that.

it's the time of the month... i guess that's a good reason.

I am SUPPOSE to be doing some editing for the articles. But... as you can see... this blog post is posted up... which means i am procrastinating.

I was going to nap.... but it's 8.35pm... so i think napping is bad idea.

Okay, now i feel like posting something serious.

HI BLOG!

Yes, i'm in a good mood.

It's been awhile since i've been POSITIVE.

So i think it's about time i do so.

Yes, everyone has their ups and downs, there's doubt in that. That's life.

But, i've come to a point of realization that i don't notice the beauty and special-ness of everything around us.

Maybe this positivity will be in me for just a moment, but that doesn't matter.

I am happy.

Literally.

I love my friends, despite our bad mood-ed days, and heart aches that cause us to be distant some days, i love their company. I have lost certain friends over a certain situation, but the friends that stuck with me and supported me through out the difficulty i went through, those were real friends.

Names don't need to be specified, cause they know who they are. :)

I love my job. Yes, i work on weekends, and some may consider that LIFELESS, but heck.. I am lovin' every moment of it. I have learnt more then i ever expected. And, i have a kick-ass boss not to mention.

Yes, maybe i can't go to church anymore cause of my job, but.. i feel like it's okay. And if people decide to look down on me for that, then fine with me. I am content with what i am doing, and i still have my faith. So judge.

Today, my car is sold. The beautiful BMW that i have grown up with. The ultimate car. It's sold.. and yes, my heart does hurt. But i am looking on the bright side.. Maybe it's time to change. Time to let go.. time to look forward.

PEOPLE, SMILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! :)

Okay, i'm done.

Lazy to type. Back to my PR assignemt.

Holiday, please roll in fast.

I miss you, BetulBerger.