So, it's like.. 7.48am.

I woke up early thanks to mum.. and now she says she wants to leave later.

So, i am going back to bed after this.

Mornings make me think... maybe it's the weather.

After a loooooooong day, and night at starbucks with the usual, Mum, her bestie.. Nor.. and Aishah (Bash Nash) .. I think it's become a routine for the next..... year? maybe two? Ha.

But, i'm not complaining. It's nice to have a clear company for once. Simple is what i want. And, fudge, it's inspiring to see Aishah and her talented photography!

So i've been thinking through out the week... do you remember anything you say?

We tend to shoot someone down when we're anger. Hit them to core of pain. Forgetting that bit of 'love' that you once shared. We do everything to break that person down. Telling them things without noticing that you can never take it back.

Oh, i think we've all been victim in both hurting, and being hurt.

I sure have. I would say how many times, but i wont.

But, over the past few years i've come to realize that there is no point to fight back. Because once a person hits you down, staying down is the best weapon.

Do i wish i stood up? Yes. But then again, No. Because nothing is going to change a persons mind when in anger. So there is no point to justify your side of a story.

I give grabs to the people who have tried to ruin my life, reputation, and my being.

Telling the people i love about the bad in me, turning their backs on me.

I give them grabs for the effort, but just the effort. Because i will not be broken down over these sort of things. It's a waste of my time, and honestly a waste of yours.

friendship is like a book. takes a few seconds to burn, and a few years to write.

Okay, i think i'll go back to bed now. I'm hungry.

Here i am in college, an hour early for class as usual.

Thanks to my brother and his school.

I woke up late. And i feel gross.

Fastest time i've gotten ready in a LONG time. I just couldn't get up.

So this is my only free time to actually blog.

Work is starting to pile up, and my tired side is starting to turn on drive.

Been working out everyday with Yeelin, so perhaps where that's from?

I NEED TO LOOOOOOSE THIS WEIGHT!

This semester has been an interesting ride so far.

I am avoiding the drama. Avoiding problems.

It's not worth fighting anymore.

Forest Gump.

Watched a snippet of Forest Gump in class today.

And, all i kept thinking about was you.

Seeing the way he acted, reminded me of you... and your genius ways to make everyone in class smile.

Today, i saw another RIP on my home page. I don't know who the person is, but i ran back to the afternoon i found all the RIP's on your wall.

I regret taking the leaps to see you.

I regret so much.

I wish i could've said more.. seen you more.. so many things.

But i can't.

Cause it's too late.

So many things remind me of you. It's been nearly a year now, and i still can't make peace with this.

A part of me wishes that you'll only be up there for awhile, then just come back down to see everyone thats missing you.

shiling.

I SHOULD be doing the questions for the up coming interview, but.. here i am blogging.

Yes, i am a procrastinator. I plan to stop... but, doubt that's ever going to work. It'll just stick as a plan.

The boyfriend is now up in KL, so here i am.. in another long distance relationship. It's as if LDR's are a magnet towards me. 3 months and counting til i get to see my doofus! Well, just a few more weeks if i count the holiday!

FINALLY, we have planned this KL trip we're been planning for months. Lin and I will finally get to go catch some awesome music at ze laundry! And we are gonna daaaaaaaance our hearts out. Yes? I think we need that! We need a good shop and drop release!

Classes are in, and daaaaaamn, i need to focus. I tune out so easily and my concentration level is on another planet. I'll be back on earth soon. Just need one of those lazy days.

Won't be working for the whole of september! HALL-E-LU-YAH!

I thought a month like this would never come.. but it is here!

I've got to do up my to-do list and sort out my messy room. For now, i am waiting for my bubs to come back from work, so we can taaaaaaalk.

The script will have to wait.. I wanna nap! Taa!

Howdy-hi-hi!

Just a tip... so maybe you know.

If you were in my past, i don't talk about you on my blog.

So, please.. don't be so full of yourself. :)

My blog reflexs... myself. my life... and if your not in it... well, you've been outcasted man!

On a more important note!

BILL GOT HIS INTERSHIIIIIP! Yeeeeeeey!

he leaves for KL soon. Not so yey about that. But... i am freakin' happy for you dufoos!

Oh, look at the time. Gotta get ready for lunch! Class at 2!

tune in for another MORE appropriate post. ;)

Not like the movies.

Why do we bother justifying our side of a story, if someone already has their heads stuck on what they thing is the truth.

I gave up ever trying to be right, and proving the wrong.

There's no point really.

Just let is slide. And let them face what they call the truth.

As long as i am certain of myself, nothing else should stop me.

Dreams.

I've been thinking AHEAD alot lately.

Ahead in the sense of my studies and my next step. And the more i think about it, the closer i feel to the real word... or so the call it.

Yes, interns are only next year, but i just can't stop thinking about what exactly i want to do.

Magazines?

Broadcasting?

PR?

There are soooo many choices. But, i am pretty sure on what i want to do. Let's just hope it all falls into place.

At first, i didn't want to do a degree just yet.. i still want to push that off. But... a degree will be pretty important.

I've been thinking about my DREAMS. What has changed about my dreams. What NEW DREAMS i've come up with.

• Travel - Cambodia, Peru, Laos, Europe.
• Learn 32 languages. (or understand)
• Go to a LIVE concert.
• Discover a new fresh band, live. And do something about it.
• TO BE CONTENT AND HAPPY WITH WHO I AM. (still learning)

Those have been my dreams for years now. And for a moment, i stopped dreaming. But now, i am back on my feet, and i will dream. DREAAAAAAM!

Let's talk about friendship.

I've been holding this post up for awhile now. And now, i am sitting in my living room alone, with the TV on mute, music playing... and munching on some tomatoes.

I finally have the MOOD.

Friendship.

Now, that's a tough subject, but a subject that i think ALL of us can relate to. Am i right?

What exactly is friendship?

Is it a random 'hi' and wave every time you see each other? Or is it being able to talk to a person for more than 30minutes without being bored.

I think we have ALL faced a friendship problem. I pretty damn sure we have.

One minute someone could be your closest friend that you share every hearty secret with, and the next.. they're our worst enemy

It's sad really how fast a friendship shatters for the STUPIDEST reasons ever known. And you look back, and think... how the hell did we end up here?

But, i guess that life. People will always come and go. And sometimes, it'll leave a big mark or scar from the pain. None the less, we learn.

I have learnt this painful lesson many times. I have let MANY people into my life, and i let them shatter my emotions, my hopes and my dreams.

I put my friends before anyone else. I run the race for them. I do all of this, and at the end of the day i get the same outcome.

Well, now i have decided that i will not do this anymore. I mean, if i sunk myself so low for others, what's the point if it goes no where?

I'm sick of the word "best friends". It's a LABEL. Don't take it serious. Best friend means GOOD friend, just using different words. But, using "best friend" makes it seem that you are a in a committed marriage for friendship.

I don't want to be held down anymore.

I am fed up with the burdens i hold.

The guilt i feel, is useless.

There are just some friends that will never full understand you. Infact, NO ONE can understand you, but yourself.

Judging brings you no where, but we are all victims of judging. there's no stopping.

So judge me, judge who i've become. Because i am happier in the atmosphere that i bask in now, then i was before. You don't like me, that your fucking problem, not mine. ;)

I'm done making the efforts... let me dream and live for now. and let me SMILE all i want.

Thankyou.Haveanicenight.

Oh, excuse the spelling mistakes, i was on a roll and lazy to read back!